Sample Essay #1:

Both Renaissance and Baroque art were heavily influenced by the socio-economic changes in Europe between 1450 and 1650. In Italy, where money was flowing like water, art flourished under the support of a growing merchant and upper class. The large amount of trade that went on in this period made Italy a wealthy nation with wealthy patrons. The Medici's, one of the most infamous rich families of the period, were heavy supporters of art. They commissioned paintings, sculptures, and architecture. In addition to the wealth, the market economy made it easier for artisans to group together in guilds. These associations were used in large cities and ensured the security of jobs for artists. They were specialized and grouped according to craft. Also, the trade that went on during the time not only allowed goods to travel, but it took along ideas of different areas in Europe. Under this system of exchange, people were exposed to new techniques and styles which created a plethora of combinations and masterpieces. Once this economy was fully established, the wealthy began to show off their stature by commissioning Baroque artists. The use of grandeur and spectacle is characteristic of wealthy lifestyle and Baroque art.

Introduction:

This introduction does very well by way of stating a thesis about one of the three events students had to analyze, but it makes NO MENTION of the other two events covered in the essay. Also, while it introduces some of the themes of social and economic change, it does not do so in a coherent fashion, for it is mostly focused on the production of works of art.

The growing social belief in humanism greatly affected Renaissance art. The Renaissance masters appreciated and exhibited the classical influences of Greek and Roman tradition. There was an emphasis on a man-centered world in which man was God's greatest and most celebrated creation. The change from Renaissance to Baroque was from a ma-centered world to a world in motion. The travel that the Renaissance era had seen led to an expansion into the New World of the Americas. The exploration and discovery of the time led to an artistic exploration. Artists had mastered form and classicism, and now it was time to experiment with more creative, uneven, and even grotesque forms of art. The political and social unrest of the period only contributed to the chaos of Baroque art. Revolts in the Netherlands and England, and the Civil Wars in France were all part of the confusion of the day.

The transition to this paragraph is not clear; ‘humanism’ is not a topic which was introduced in the previous paragraph. In fact, most of the topic of the paragraph is unrelated to the question. There are some specific examples, but they don’t further the argument. The last sentence introduces, finally, the other two events which are going to be discussed, but it does so in the context of the ‘chaos of baroque art’ not social and economic change.

The Revolt of the Netherlands might not have been possible if it weren't for a stable market economy. The Netherlands flourished with trade and merchantry, and most of the populace was well-to-do. As Philip imposed more and more restrictions on the Netherlands in the form of unconventional taxation, the revolt gained more support. The defeat of Spain was largely do to the wealth of the merchant nation and the difficulty Spain had holding onto it New World acquisitions.

Philip not only broke custom economically in the Netherlands, but he also broke the custom of toleration. The merchants of the Netherlands were passive believers who even allowed the Anabaptists their freedom. Philip and his strong Catholic belief tried to make the Netherlands entirely Catholic. The persecution of Protestants was unacceptable to Protestants and Catholics alike. This fueled the revolt against Spain, and the conflict eventually became one of religion.

The two paragraphs on the Revolt of the Netherlands do advance an argument about how social and economic change were relevant, but note that the existence of this change (the growth trade) was not well developed in Part 1 of the essay. There are some good examples here.

Similar to the Revolt of the Netherlands is the English Revolution. The conflict between Parliament and king Charles ended with a win on Parliament's side. They had the ability to raise money and they restricted the king's ability to do the same. Charles had to force people into giving him money to fight Parliament, and he gained no moral support for his cause in doing so. Parliament had more economic ground to stand on, and Charles was forced to concede.

Socially, the conflict between the upper class Arminaians and the middling Puritans was gaining force. Parliament was highly opposed to any system of religious practice that promoted grand ceremony and pompous display. There was also a break from custom when Parliament wanted more power to govern. In this situation, it was the revolutionaries breaking custom and the king trying to maintain tradition.

The transition to the next two paragraphs on the English Revolution is simple, but clear (though it could have been phrased better). The link to economic change, however, is not clear since we are not given the necessary background—either here or above—to understand why ‘raising money’ was important. Again there are some good examples, but some, particularly those pertaining to religion, are not entirely relevant.

GRADE: B-

Sample Essay #2

The social and economic conditions indicative of the "long sixteenth century" (1450-1650) stemmed from rapid population growth following the Black Plague of the 1340s, the growth of the Market Economy, inflation and the migration into the cities from the countryside. While these conditions are evidenced in a number of situations during the time period, they are best described in the Revolt of the Netherlands from Spain, the English Revolution, and the Reformation in Germany.

Introduction: A very good introduction. Notice that the brief outlines of the details on social and economic change are very clearly laid out. Also notice that the three events are introduced. The author implies that the social and economic changes can explain these changes—he/she might have been more explicit on this point.

Economically, the long 16^th century witnessed a period of increased inflation while wages remained nearly the same. If 1500 is taken as year 0, prices would double by 1550, triple by 1600, and increase by 5 times by 1625. Wages, on the other hand, would increase only by 2 or 2.5% during the same time period. This would have consequences for European society, including a decline in the living standard, which, among urban workers and peasants, would necessitate the need for by-employments-moonlighting in another job to compensate. These economic conditions would also affect social conditions in the towns. Journeymen, who before 1500 could hope to become masters of their own shops through training and eventually setting up their own shop, could no longer hope to do this. Money, which had been available for Wallington through his father, for example, was no longer accessible. The result was increased polarization in the towns between wealthy masters and their hired workers (who were also skilled enough to be masters). This also built up resentment among the lower classes.

Polarization was also evident in the countryside. With the increase in inflation the value of food also rose. This was exaggerated by an increase in population after 1400 which also increased the demand for food and land. Land became much more of a commodity and was used in much more rational ways. Landowners invested in their land to make the most of it. Rents in kind were replaced by monetary payments, the "economic lease" on land developed. Landowners got richer.

For small family farms, the outcome was not as good. As the population expanded, land became less accessible--soon family plots were not big enough to sufficiently feed all family members. Younger sons often went to the towns to look for employment or farmers would take up by-employments to compensate. The result was increased competition in towns between moonlighting farmers and artisans already there. The Merchant class began to rise in importance, economically, socially and politically. We will see this evidence in bother the English and Dutch Revolutions.

Also significant socially during this time period was the rise and spread of Protestantism. This significantly altered traditional beliefs and customs in some countries--particularly the Netherlands and England. Calvinist Resistance Theory, in particular, played a role in these two countries.

The four following paragraphs outline very clearly and specifically the economic and social change mentioned in the introduction. Specific examples are given—percent of population increase, changes in land ownership etc. Notice how the transitions at the beginning of each paragraph neatly link the topics together by emphasizing similarity or contrast: "Polarization was also evident…." or "For small family farms, the outcome was not good."

The Revolt of the Netherlands in indicative of these changes. Charles V's, but more extensively, Phillip II's intervention in the political and religious affairs of the region combined with the development listed above, directly led to their revolt.

Philip II, who succeeded his father as King of Spain in 1558 was an ardent Catholic who had inherited a great debt. His two main missions in the Dutch territory he had inherited were to raise money and impose Catholicism. Both endeavors were met with resistance by the Dutch who saw Philip as a foreign king without their interests at heart. His attempt to impose taxes with royal collectors, his attempt to cash in on the Dike levys and his attempt to impose Catholicism on the region known for its "toleration" and sympathy to Protestantism all met with fierce resistance. The Dutch were a wealthy nation, made up mostly of merchants who had risen to high social status thanks to the economic conditions of the long 16^th century. Their government was largely autonomous--resembling the HRE's network of principalities. Calvinist Resistance Theory has come to the Dutch from Geneva, creating a political struggle between the king and his subjects. The inevitable result of revolution was due to all of these changes brought about under the long 16^th century.

The two paragraphs on the Revolt of the Netherlands begin with a clear restatement of the thesis. The events of the revolt are briefly introduced. Because the social and economic changes in Part 1 were so clearly described, the author can simply refer to Holland as a ‘wealthy nation …of merchants" and we know just what is meant. Lots of good, specific, relevant examples.

The English Revolution, too, is evidence of these social and economic changes. Like the Dutch, the middle (merchant) class had risen in power under the English Parliamentary House of Commons by the 1640's. The introduction of Renaissance ideas, including humanism, had insulated the gentry from the aristocracy's influence. Parliamentary handling of monetary affairs made the king rely on them for funds. Religiously, the Puritans had taken a stronghold in the House of Commons with a strong sympathy to Calvinist Resistance Theory. (God's law is greater than the king's.) Tensions between the king and Parliament festered over issues of authority, money and religion. Also in England, increased population and inflation led to an increase in social depravity, something the Puritans felt was their obligation to remedy and they needed the power to do so. The English Revolution came about largely because of the same issues of the Dutch Revolt. Increased social polarization, tension between the king and Parliament over authority and religious issues.

The paragraph on the English Revolution again has a clear thesis. Specific examples – social change > social depravity > puritanism – establish the link promised in the thesis. (The political issues mentioned in the paragraph could have been better integrated into the thesis.)

The Reformation of Germany is evident of religious issues, but it also had social and political motives too. The decline in living standards game many motive to convert, seeking in Protestantism a better life for themselves. It also offered a chance to resist the elite, as evidenced in the German peasant's revolt of 1521. The power of the princes over the Holy Roman Emperor are also significant (demonstrated in Frederick the Wise's protection of Luther). Also the power of the king comes into question--Charles is forced to concede and allow the Peace of Augsburg to be implemented in 1555. Luther appeals to the Christian nobility in 1520, not the king.

The paragraph on the Reformation in Germany again has a thesis. There are good examples here but the thesis is not very well established. (The author was probably running out of time.)

GRADE A

Sample Essay #3  

Europe, between 1450 and 1650 was going through many changes. Economically, Europe's commerce was booming, especially along the coastline where many of the products were first distributed. Europe's population was also growing after the many deaths of the Black Plague. New methods of growing crops allowed for a longer life for the people.

Socially, Europe was changing in the way it thought. In education, women were being taught other subjects besides household duties and religion. This idea was helped along with the humanists. Also, with Johann Gutenberg's invention of the printing press in the 1500's, the illiteracy of people decreased. People became more aware of their surrounding and began searching for answers.

Introduction: There is no thesis in this introduction. It describes, coherently, the economic and social changes but does not introduce the argument of the paper. Essentially, these two paragraphs are ‘Part 1’ of the essay and the introduction is missing. The examples given are rather vague and general except the discussion of printing.

The Reformation in German was affected by these changes, especially with the invention of the printing press. Many Germans were illiterate. Using the printing press and woodcuts, it gave many Germans the opportunity to know what was occurring at the time. Being able to know the occurrences of that time, they were able to voice their opinions.

This paragraph on the Reformation in Germany has a thesis, but the proof of the thesis is very very narrow and not very specific. The only issue discussed is printing; economic change, population growth etc. receive no mention. The Reformation itself is not really described.

The changes also affected Renaissance and Baroque art. Finally women were given the chance to pursue a career in art. Many humanists called for educating women in other subjects. This soon opened schools for women. Also, new styles of painting were emerging. The paintings and other artwork were becoming more realistic and natural and lifelike. No more of those elongated bodies, or unproportioned bodies.

The paragraph on Renaissance and Baroque art also has a thesis, and the changes in artistic styles are mentioned. However, the relationship of women’s education to art is not explained. Moreover, the changes in artistic style is not linked to social and economic change.

The witch craze brought change in that it propelled the thought of finding the truth of how things worked and why it happened. Things that were seen as out of the ordinary was blamed as being the work of witches. It was soon recognized that these things weren't occurring because of magic or sorcery. This led them to search for the real answers, and the invention and founding of many of the ideas we still hold today. For example, Copernicus's theory that it wasn't the Earth that was the center of the universe, as suggested by Ptolemy, but it was rather the sun that was at the center of the universe. Many people found that hard to believe then, but it eventually was found that Copernicus was right in his theory.

The paragraph on the witch craze sort of states a thesis. However the craze itself is not described and the specific example given—changes in the understanding of astronomy—does not really relate to the question.

Grade: C or C -